So I went on vacation to visit my family for the first time in a long time. As it turns out I was a little more tense than I realized and my mother and husband thought I might need more time away. I agreed. With my sweet and excited six year old daughter I stayed several extra days and my mother brought us home this week. She even stayed a couple of days.
So, as a first year stay at home, home schooling mom I am, evidently, struggling with a couple of things and those that love me have noticed. Sadly, I did not realize just how "stressed" I was. Sadly, it took a crew of people that know and love me to notice the c-4 that was brewing inside of me. Sadly, I think, I mean thought, that I am, I mean was or I mean I think, or thought ...... yeah.... thats how it has been.
To be frank, I am not sure what I think or thought or what is real or not. I know that I love my daughter. I love my husband. I have an awesome life that I am grateful for. Yet.... I am still wound up like a ball of rubber bands that have been left in the sun then stored in a freezer.
Am I a bad mom?
Am I ungrateful?
Should I put my daughter in public school and go back to work?
...
...
So I come home, my mom goes back home... I get back in the "groove" and find that the extra few days did not "fix" me.
Evidently, all it takes to put me back on the crazy train is an absent minded mom in the post office parking lot and some sand in my daughters shoes.
So I sit here, watching reruns of Burn Notice, with my husband avoiding (by demand) me.
Am I alone? Should I take the doctors advice and chemically conceal the weapon of my insanity? Am I insane? Or am I just a mom that forgot to ask for a couple of days off in the last 18 months? Am I a bad mom for wanting time to my self? Time to not be needed? Am I not worthy of homeschooling because I need that time off? Is being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week humane?
Do I love my daughter less because I want the chance to miss her? Are her questions less valuable because I don't always want to answer them?
I know that some ask these questions for reassurance and coddling. I really want to know. If I am in the wrong, I want to know so I can fix it. If I am crazy and need medication.... I will take it. And if you know me at all, you will know that medication is the last thing I want.
God is good and I know He loves me. I know that Jesus says not to worry. I have read all of the Corinthians.... even the "important" chapters on love.
Yet, here I am. What does a loving yet crazy mom do?
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Powerful Prayer 3 - Rooted Deep in Love
One of my all time favorite prayers of Paul is from Ephesians 3. In verses 14-21 you will find an incredibly powerful and deep prayer. Since it is a longer excerpt, I am going to quote some of the verses here but give you a link to the whole passage to read on your own when you have some time to really meditate on it.
Ephesians 3:14-21 (AMP)
Here are a couple of questions I have been rolling around as I read and pray over this passage of scripture.
How well do I understand Gods Love for me?
Am I wholly filled and flooded with God Himself?
Ephesians 3:17-19 (AMP)
"May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,
That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!"
That is not even half of this beautiful prayer. Imagine the power of praying this for your family, yourself and your loved ones each day. This is a prayer that you can pray over your church and your pastor; all those that you would love to see grow closer to God!
And we can know that He will here and answer this prayer! Verse 20 tells us that He is "able to do super abundantly, far over and above all that we ask or think" So we can pray often, pray big and with complete faith!
Ephesians 3:21 (AMP)
"To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it)."
May your day be full of love, joy, peace and hope!
Jamie
Today I am linking up with the following beautiful blogs!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Yarn Lovin' - Making Lemonade from Lemons
The past week has been, well, lets just say unpleasant and unproductive. Between Tuesday and Thursday we all came down with a nasty virus. By far the most debilitating virus our family has had in our history. So once I got past the I can't move or think part, I still could not move around much but my mind was going all over the place. I decided to take advantage of this time to work on my passion for crochet! I am happy to say that this virus has been returned to the fiery pit that it came from and we are all feeling (almost) back to normal!
So today, I am going to share the fruits of my "labor" from this past week - my Lemonade made from some very sour lemons!
This is the One Big Granny Square Afghan that I am making for my daughter. I started it before this week but have almost completed it in the last few days!
I have recently discovered the satisfaction of small crochet projects. They use small amounts of yarn and are completed quickly. So I can feel good about accomplishing something! :) If you have read my past posts on my ability to complete projects, you will know this is a big deal!
So today, I am going to share the fruits of my "labor" from this past week - my Lemonade made from some very sour lemons!
I have recently discovered the satisfaction of small crochet projects. They use small amounts of yarn and are completed quickly. So I can feel good about accomplishing something! :) If you have read my past posts on my ability to complete projects, you will know this is a big deal!
This is a vertical stripe coffee cozy pattern that I found at "Lucy 'In the sky!" She has a wonderful blog with a ton of great patterns and ideas! I did not follow the pattern completely since I was going by memory at the time but you can find it in the link above, along with another very cute one!
This is a can cozy that is an adaptation from a basic cozy pattern I found. I added the decorative stitching and thought the glitter yarn would add some pizazz! :)
I am having so much fun and so many great ideas that I am considering opening an Etsy store with completed projects and patterns. If any of you lovely crafters have one (or have tried it) and have any advice or thoughts for me, I would greatly appreciate them!
Happy crafting and blessings for everyone!
Today I am linking with:
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Praise God Moments and Powerful Prayer
My daughter is not feeling well this week and I am super behind. I had big plans for my posts this week but that will wait. In the meantime, I have decided to combine my Powerful Prayer from Tuesdays and Praise God Moments from Thursday. Since Praise and Prayer go hand in hand I thought this would work out nicely!
Philippians 4:5-7 (NIV*)
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
How powerful is that, right?
No worries! Relax! God is near. Just ask Him, thank Him, present your requests to Him and the peace of God will guard your heart and mind!
I do not know anyone that could not use more of the peace of God in heart or mind. I know I need it, not just daily, but continually.
Psalm 30:11-12 (NIV*)
"You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever."
I have found that the times that I least feel like dancing and singing to the Lord are the exact times I need to be doing it. In most instances I do not start out with pep in my step or volume in my voice. However, I will invariably end with both, along with a joy and peace in my soul that cannot be explained.
I have a challenge for all of my beautiful readers! The next time you have no desire to thank God, praise God or sing and dance to God - do it. Then come back here and tell us about it! Share that peace and joy and give the glory to God! :)
To God be all the Glory and Honor! AMEN!
This week I am linking up with:
*THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Philippians 4:5-7 (NIV*)
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
How powerful is that, right?
No worries! Relax! God is near. Just ask Him, thank Him, present your requests to Him and the peace of God will guard your heart and mind!
I do not know anyone that could not use more of the peace of God in heart or mind. I know I need it, not just daily, but continually.
Psalm 30:11-12 (NIV*)
"You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever."
I have found that the times that I least feel like dancing and singing to the Lord are the exact times I need to be doing it. In most instances I do not start out with pep in my step or volume in my voice. However, I will invariably end with both, along with a joy and peace in my soul that cannot be explained.
I have a challenge for all of my beautiful readers! The next time you have no desire to thank God, praise God or sing and dance to God - do it. Then come back here and tell us about it! Share that peace and joy and give the glory to God! :)
To God be all the Glory and Honor! AMEN!
This week I am linking up with:
*THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Praise God Moments
O GIVE thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for his mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!
Psalm 107:1 (amp)
Thank you, Father, for
We are delivered from the control and dominion of darkness!
We are transferred into the Kingdom of the Son of Your love!
We are redeemed - forgiven of our sins, through the blood of Jesus Christ!
Colossians 1:13-14 (amp)
[The Father] has delivered and drawn us to Himself out of the control and the dominion of darkness and has transferred us into the kingdom of the Son of His love,
In Whom we have our redemption through His blood, [which means] the forgiveness of our sins
Let the redeemed of the Lord Say So!
This is the first of what I pray will be many posts devoted to praising our awsome God! I plan to do this every Thursday and would love for you to join me! I would be honored if you would share with me what you are praising God for this week!
I am starting my Thankful List this week and will continue it with the Praise God post each week!
(in no particular order!)
1. The smell of spring
2. The sound of my daughter laughing
3. Fresh Mercy every morning
4. Flowers
5. Deliverance from smoking
6. Clean running water
7. My husband and best friend
Linking with:
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Powerful Prayer Week 1
This week I am beginning a Tuesday series devoted to prayer. Prayer is a big part of my life but I feel like I need to spend more of my time focusing on it. I would like to share with you the prayers that I study from the Bible and how they affect my life. This is, also, intended that your prayer life will be even further enriched and that you will see more of the beautiful work of our Lord in your life!
At first I was going to attempt to write a deep and thorough study of the verses that I focus on each week. After a couple of failed attempts, I am positive that I am supposed to keep it simple, to allow for the Holy Spirit to work in each of us to show each one personally what He wants us to take away from it.
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At first I was going to attempt to write a deep and thorough study of the verses that I focus on each week. After a couple of failed attempts, I am positive that I am supposed to keep it simple, to allow for the Holy Spirit to work in each of us to show each one personally what He wants us to take away from it.
Week 1 of Powerful Prayer Tuesday!
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9For this reason we also, from the day we heard of it, have not ceased to pray and make [special] request for you, [asking] that you may be filled with the full (deep and clear) knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [in comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] and in understanding and discernment of spiritual things-- 10That you may walk (live and conduct yourselves) in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God [with fuller, deeper, and clearer insight, acquaintance, and recognition].
11[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy,
12Giving thanks to the Father, Who has qualified and made us fit to share the portion which is the inheritance of the saints (God's holy people) in the Light.
This is a prayer that I have been praying over my husband for a while. God has truly blessed him in many ways. Recently, I began praying it over our whole family and our close friends and I can feel it working in our home. I am confident that our family and friends will be blessed also. I feel that this is a prayer that we can all benefit from and as I type, I pray that all who read this will be blessed by it. That you will be "filled with the full (deep and clear) knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [in comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] and in understanding and discernment of spiritual things..."
So it shall be!
Blessings and Joy to all!
Jamie
Linking up with
11[We pray] that you may be invigorated and strengthened with all power according to the might of His glory, [to exercise] every kind of endurance and patience (perseverance and forbearance) with joy,
12Giving thanks to the Father, Who has qualified and made us fit to share the portion which is the inheritance of the saints (God's holy people) in the Light.
This is a prayer that I have been praying over my husband for a while. God has truly blessed him in many ways. Recently, I began praying it over our whole family and our close friends and I can feel it working in our home. I am confident that our family and friends will be blessed also. I feel that this is a prayer that we can all benefit from and as I type, I pray that all who read this will be blessed by it. That you will be "filled with the full (deep and clear) knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom [in comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] and in understanding and discernment of spiritual things..."
So it shall be!
Blessings and Joy to all!
Jamie
Linking up with
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